なんで自分勝手なの？

父は違うと思ったけどやっぱり自分勝手。
母は得に一番自分勝手。

それで、旦那も自分勝手。
小さいことかも知らないけど、私は忘れられない。
;.;

なんで私のまわりは全員自分勝手なの？
なんで私の事を考えてくれないの？

stress!
i need to vent it all out!

i haven't told everyone what i've been up to this week so i'll just say it here.

first, i was looking for a job somewhere in the neighborhood (again) coz i (my body) just can't keep up working at usj. the lower abdominal pain, the pelvis ache, headache, and being cranky before and after work.
i thought i need to find a new job. so i looked for a new one and saw that uniqlo is hiring. i called and got a schedule for an interview. i've been researching about uniqlo on the net for the interview, when i found out lots of bad rumors that their training is major spartan, and most seniors/managers are power harassing and unreasonable. so i searched again for jobs but couldn't find any that i like.

after a while, there was an offer from someone i know in the philippines for me to be their research associate and translator. i would conduct interviews online to japanese and transate the documents needed. it was good news so i said yes. it's been a long time since i used my brains that much! lol.

come the day of my interview in uniqlo, i still went.. and i think i did well. now i'm afraid all the more. what if i got accepted? i want to try. i'm sure i could learn a lot of things.. uniqlo is famous for their excellent customer service, and it will be good impression for other companies if i say i worked at uniqlo when the time comes that i'd need to search for a new job again, but will my body keep up?

then starting this day, i just couldn't sleep at night! literally!
i had to go to work today without sleep. plus i suddenly had a hard time breathing at work.. the feeling was like a light asthma and a light heart attack rolled into one. ugh.

i was thinking why, when i remembered that i've been so pissed with hubby too the past days. how selfish and conceited could a person get?

yet i actually didn't realized it was stress until i read an email about stress from a friend (talk about nice timing).

now i know.
sigh.

what i can't believe, is that i let it get to me.
i wish i was stronger.. i wish i could do anything i want without being affected by anything.

体が追いつかなかったり、
時間がなかったり、
知識がなかったり、
金銭的にできなかったり。

はぁ。
私はどうすればいいんだろ・・・
落ち込むよね〜

無限大とか言うけど、どこが？ってたまに思う。
罰があたっちゃうかもしんないなっ。笑

私のやりたいこと：
1. 習い事／レッスンやトレーニング
→ヘアーメイク、フラワーアレンジ、ベイキング（洋菓子）語学、など。
2. もっと仕事をすること。
→もっと時間とか曜日をふやしてまた違うところにでも、ちがう仕事に挑戦してみる。
3. 自分の商売／ビジネスをすること。

以上・・・かな

はぁーぁー。

何かに縛られずに自由になりたい。

my baby angel is now 6 months, and i can't believe how she's growing so fast! later you'd know, she would tell me about her crush in school. ok, nah, that's too fast. lol.

for hubby, well nothing has changed. he'd always be the same. haha. uhm.. we don't fight much loudly now. we're both afraid our angel would remember it, get scared or something..

as for me,... i lost weight! still not the weight i'm hoping for though. blame it on pms. i always over eat at the same time every month! oh well, i'm not in a hurry anyway.
not being able to do what i want at that moment and where i want to go gets to me sometimes.. i miss the freedom. but this is motherhood. i'm fine. all for my angel.
what else? i'm back at usj, but i'm thinking of quitting. yes. again. i love the job, but i think my body couldn't cope up. pelvis/lower back pain is getting worse, and lower abdomen pain to add. sigh. but hubby said i don't need to work you know, so no stress(?). now looking for a job somewhere near.
after a couple of months, i'm thinking of studying makeup. :)

so there.
all in all, i'm living a normal happy life with the loves of my life.